I Just Turned 28 but I Do Not Feel Older

Earlier this month, I turned 28. And… Knowing that I’m so close to 30 makes me feel old, yet I don’t actually feel older. It’s strange because it feels like I’ve been 28 for the past two years. I felt older back when I was actually much younger. Now, I regret not fully remembering my 26th and 27th years. What was I doing? Where was I during that time?

I tried to recall what it was like to be 26.

And then it hit me!

When I was 26, I was living in Korea. Just after New Year’s in 2023, 7 months away before my 27th birthday in July, Koreans were already telling me I was 28. Despite being there for only 5 months, I had to get used to introducing myself as 28 year old woman, which felt strange.

So, although I was 26, I felt like I was 28 the whole time. Now, two years later, at the actual age of 28, I find myself thinking, “Wasn’t I 28 all along?”

It’s funny to think that if I went back to Korea at the start of 2024 this year, I would already be considered 30 years old then. However, if I’m honest, I’d actually feel much younger in Korea than I do in Indonesia.

During my time in Korea at 26, I felt so youthful. I felt like I was 18 again, back in high school. There, I met people from around the world, not just Koreans. And it was refreshing to realize that many people my age, like me, were still focused on their careers and enjoying life, even if they weren’t married yet. In many cultures, including in Asia, it’s common to prioritize studies and career early on, with fun and personal exploration coming later.

In Indonesia, once you’re past 25, it’s common to hear questions like, “When will you get married?” These kinds of questions have always made me feel a bit out of place. I remember feeling different from others, even in middle school, when the conversations often revolved around relationships while I was more focused on other things. During my 20s, I often reassured my friends and relatives that I planned to get married by 26. Now that I’m 28, it’s clear that wasn’t really my plan. But that’s okay. It’s natural for people to grow and change, and sometimes that means growing apart from others.

Before my time in Korea, I felt more pressure to live according to the expectations of my society. But my experience in Korea—and as a PhD student, especially after COVID—has completely changed my perspective.

I’ve come to appreciate that everyone’s journey is different, and that’s okay and that’s what makes life so interesting.

Yes, research can be incredibly challenging, but overall, I feel young and free. Compared to my friends who were having fun at 18—many of whom are now married with kids at 28—Now I’m able to enjoy similar experiences they enjoyed at the age of 18, but with more money, independence, and freedom. I can travel to far-off places, buy nicer things with my own money, and truly enjoy my independence. All these experiences feel like reclaiming a part of my youth that I never fully got to explore before.

As I reflect on turning 28, I realize it’s not just about the number but about how I feel and live my life. Whether I’m 28, 30, or even 18 at heart, what matters is that I’m enjoying the journey and embracing every moment. And for that, I’m grateful.